キツネとすっぱいぶどう(わたしたちは自分をごまかしながら生きている)
あるところにキツネがいました。
キツネが森を歩いていると、とても美味しそうなぶどう🍇を見つけました。
キツネはそのぶどうがおいしそうで食べたかったので必死に手を伸ばしましたが届きません。
結局キツネはそのぶどうを取ることが出来ませんでした。
ぶどうが取れなかった自分に腹を立てたキツネはこう思うことにしました。
🦊どうせあのぶどうはすっぱいに違いない!(だから取れなくてよかった。)
わたしたちはこのようにして、欲しかった結果と現実に差があって、そこに不快感を感じると、自分のとらえかたや考え方を変えることでその不快感をなくそうとします。
このような人の心的状態を心理学では認知的不協和(にんちてきふきょうわ)といいます。
アメリカの心理学者であるレオン・フェスティンガーさんによって提唱されました。
キツネじゃなくてもわたしたち
こういうこと、やってませんか?
💔好きだった人に思い切って告白したら振られてしまった→本当は思いやりにかける悪い人だったのかもしれない
💔最後の残り物だった→残り物には福があると思うことで納得する
こんな風にしてとらえかたを自分の都合のよいように変えてしまうこと、案外わたしたちやってますよね?
でもそれで本当によいのでしょうか?
新しく自分で事業を興したいと思っていためぐみさんは、勤めている会社を辞めて自営業を始めようと思っていました。
自分で仕事を始めて収入を得るために必要だと思う資格を全て取りました。
いよいよ準備が出来たので、さぁいつ仕事を辞めようか、その段階に来ました。
ところが
めぐみさんは急にこんなことが気になり始めました。
(何か足りないかもしれない。もうちょっと勉強した方がいいのかも?)
そう思うとめぐみさんは、資格の上位コースを目指すことにしました。
(きっとわたしレベルで起業するなんて早すぎる。もっと学びが必要だ。)
上位コースを取得しためぐみさんは、いよいよ会社をやめて起業するタイミングがやって来ました。
ところが今度は急に、夫が自分の起業に対してどう思っているのか?気になり始めました。
(きっとサラリーマンの夫は、わたしが起業することをよしとしないに違いない。もうちょっとタイミングを見なくっちゃ。夫を納得させてからにしよう。)
めぐみさんは起業する不安をついぞ自覚することなく、誰かや何かのせいにして起業しない自分を納得させました。
* * * * * * * * *
幸子さんとさなえさんは仲良しな二人でした。
二人は繋がっていたSNSでよく話をしました。
いろんな話をすることを幸子さんもさなえさんもとても楽しみにしていました。
ある時幸子さんは、誰かの悪口をいっぱい投稿するようになりました。
あの人は詐欺師だ。この人は顔が悪い。
それを見たさなえさんは悲しい気持ちになりました。
幸子さんとはいつも一緒に話したいと思っていたけど、誰かの悪口には共感出来ませんでした。
そしてさなえさんは残念な気持ちをおさえて、そっと幸子さんから離れることにしました。
するとそのことに気がついた幸子さんは、本当は悲しいのに、その不快な感情をごまかすために、かわりにあいつはどうしようもない悪いヤツだと、さなえさんの悪口を言い始めました。
* * * * * * * *
何かや誰かに対する不快感や不満を自分で自覚していないと、こんな風にしてごまかすことで自分を納得させます。
これだと人生変化しないどころか、下手すると悪い方向にも行きかねません。
疑うべきはまず【自分】ですね。
人のせいじゃなくてすべて自分のせいというのは、こういうところからも来ているのです。
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